15th Jun '15: Report,
It was the hottest day of the year so far and i'd forgotten to take my lunch to work. Its my last £2.00 so i think, its Friday,i'll treat myself to some chips. As i'm ordering, the oriental lady looks at me and says "Swarfega", "pardon" i say. "Swarfega" she says again. After a long silence i realise that she is asking me if i would like 'Salt and Vinegar' on my chips. "oh" i say, "yes please". As i look down counting my money, she places the paper wrapper on the counter. "Did you put salt and vinegar on them" i ask She looks at me then gives a gentle nod as if to say 'i can't remember'. I walk to the park and sit down with anticipation for my Friday treat. As i unwrap my lunch, i am greeted with what can only be described as 'a graveyard of wet beige slugs', no salt, no vinegar. I cautiously prod the first slug with my wooden chip fork, and the wetness breaks it in half. I gently pop it into my mouth, half grimacing as i do. It slides down effortlessly from all the oil, like a lubed up oyster. Determined, i plough on even though i feel my face turning green. A few minutes later, my work colleague turns up with a sandwich. "Try one of these" i say. He looks at it worryingly, puts it in his mouth and looks at me, "Hmm, different" he says. I swear that if he closed his eyes before trying it, his reaction would have been "What is it"?
As i get to around the last 20 or so chips, an amazing thing happens. I'm suddenly whisked away to to late 1970's early 1980's as the vague aroma of 'Windolene' spreads through my nostrils. I look around to see where it is before coming to the conclusion that it is in fact, my £1.70 lunch. This, is where i decided to call it a day and admitted defeat against the defiant army of beige slugs.
it's times like this that you wish you could try before you buy. This was on Friday 12th June 2015. It's now Monday 15th June and i am still suffering from a recently diagnosed medical condition known as 'Slug Bowel'
These are almost worth trying for the experience. Weird, different, i'd almost even use the word 'awesome'.........but for all the wrong reasons!
Taylors is the 'Argos' of chip shops, where you are not allowed to see the goods until you get home, put it down before opening the packaging in excitement and then thinking.................'well it's not what i was expecting'
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